Here I Used To Stand
by Shiroyamimaru
Summary: Human AU, CAFE/FACE family centric, main pairing Cuba x Canada. Basically a bunch of Short Stories/Vignettes actually inspired off of the book "The House On Mango Street". Chapter 2: The big radio in the kitchen - Papa's big radio - tells a lot of things, about the president and about peoples lives... But Matthew loves when Papa's gone and Dad turns on the music.
1. Chapter 1

**The Things That Hurt The Worst**

"I'm gonna marry you, Carlos." That was what Matthew used to say. He still says it too.

"Promise it on a shooting star?" Carlos would ask.

"Promise it on a shooting star." Matthew would say, and mean it too.

"Pinky promise?" Carlos would make sure.

"Pinky promise." And they would wrap their little fingers around each other's and mean it.

And Matthew would tell his dad; "Dad, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And his dad would turn around and give him a big smile, looking up from whatever he was cooking. "You do that." He said.

And Matthew would tell his Papa; "Papa, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And his Papa would sip his tea and laugh, a book in hand. "Go ahead." He would say.

And Matthew would tell his bother too, even though he knew he didn't want to hear it. "Alfred, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And his brother would pout and tell him; "You know I don't like him."

And he would tell his stuffed bear also, even though he knew he couldn't hear him; "Kumajirou, I'm gonna marry Carlos." And Kumajirou would sit there, looking just the same as he ever did.

So many years passed since then, and Carlos's wedding came around, but it wasn't with Matthew. And he hated that it wasn't; but it was an Argentinian woman whom his father and her father had set him up with and in his family it wasn't good to disobey your father's wishes. Not good at all.

And Carlos hated that he himself was going along with it, and Matthew hated that he was going along with it, and even the girl he was to marry hated that he was going along with it. But they all knew that one unspoken rule set by Carlos's family, which was 'don't disobey your father'. Even if it means losing what you love the most, he couldn't do anything about it.

And that was what hurt the worst.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much to the guest who left the beautiful review, it made my day and I really appreciate it! Also kudos to _icenice_ for following. Thank you both very much.

* * *

 **The Radio In The Kitchen**

The radio in the kitchen was big and loud, but mostly big.

When Matthew stood up on his tip toes, even then he couldn't reach the top. Matthew knew the top was never dusty, because Papa hates dust, and Papa sits in front of it too long for it to be dusty. He would take the duster and dust 'till there was a huge cloud in the air and they were all coughing.

Dad said they kept that big old radio because it's was Papa's, and before Papa's it had been his Papa's, and his Papa's before that, until no one could tell who's it was cause it had been passed so far back. Also, Papa just liked knowing what was going on in other people's lives.

Alfred used to ask if that was an invasion of privacy, since Papa knew what was going on in other people's lives. Dad told him that it wasn't, and he wasn't learning anything too personal when he turned on that radio.

Unless it was about the president. A lot of people knew about the president, and put it on the radio. Matthew knew Alfred liked hearing about it and pretending he was a hero. That kind of hero that prevents presidential assassinations, like Kennedy. Or maybe famous people like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.; because even though he was long dead they still had a day for him, so he must be famous, right? The Kind of hero who saves kittens from trees, and saves countries from wars, and people from the things in their hearts they can't see. That's the kind of hero Matthew's brother wanted to be.

Alfred liked thinking he could make it, be a hero like that. Matthew knew he liked because he would say in a loud boastful voice. And then Papa would tell him to keep it down because he was listening to whatever it was that he was listening to and didn't want to be disturbed.

But Matthew's favorite times were when Papa was out and Dad would change it to the music. Sometimes it was classical, made by people with really hard names like _Mozart_ or _Beethoven_ ; or _Chopin_ or _Rachmaninoff_ who's names didn't spell like they sounded.

Sometimes it was rock and roll like _Led Zeppelin_ , or _The Beatles_ , with their fancy guitars talking about freedom from nothing at all.

One day, a song came on the radio that Matthew couldn't decide whether to like, or dislike. It was a man's voice coming from the radio, singing about how he would lay himself down… or something like that.

"Dad," Matthew would say. "Dad, why would someone make themselves into a bridge for someone else?"

And Dad would laugh, telling him; "No Matt, it's just how he feels. A feeling you can't describe with words, so you describe it with a song."

Matthew would nod, and then forget it, only to ask again the next time the song would come on that big radio in the kitchen. Getting lost in the music until Papa came home.


End file.
